D'oh!

Boy we are moving right along, here we are at week 28 and I thought cravings would be over with by now. Nope. There are two cravings that are ruling my world right now: Donuts with Sprinkles and Beer. Wait a minute... am I turning into Homer Simpson?!

Oh my God. This. Is. Me. 

Allow me to elaborate on the donut issue. I wouldn't consider myself a true donut eater, I'll eat one if they're at work, but I don't typically buy them. I don't seek them out. If someone has gifted donuts at work, my first choice is one with cream in the middle. I'm all about the cream filling (hardy har har). Lately though sprinkles are ruling my world. One little colorful conglomerate of sugar at a time. I'm not sure exactly WHY I'm craving this food. I'm sure it has absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever, but when I want one, I really WANT one. So today while I was shopping at Fred Meyer I thought I'd casually check out their bakery section and perhaps buy one. What I found was an atrocity.

(gasp!)

WTF is that?!

Needless to say I did not take this sad little donut. I finished up my shopping (I bought healthy foods I'll have you know) and promptly headed to the donut shop a block away... 

JACKPOT

I was SO overwhelmed at how delicious these bad boys looked that I bought half a dozen. I don't plan to eat them all in one serving, but it's nice to have them on standby. As proof that consuming donuts isn't really ALL I'm eating these days, I give you, a picture of part of my lunch:

Mmmmm. Healthy.

My other craving, beer, has been REALLY strong. So strong, in fact, I have actually dreamt of drinking beer. Why?, I found myself wondering? Those of you who know me, would not consider me a beer drinker I'm sure. So I took to the internet and did many many searches of craving beer during pregnancy. Turns out, it's super common! It doesn't mean I'm a deep-seeded alcoholic after all! Yay! Apparently, beer has a ton of B Vitamins and also, the yeast helps in milk let-down. I've talked to a few people about this and most say a beer here and there won't hurt, some say just drink O'Douls to satisfy your craving if its so strong. So, my other splurge on this Memorial Day, I bought some O'Douls. 

My wet dream. 

Man how things have changed...

Vanson seems to be more active than ever these days. Seriously sometimes I look down when he's going crazy and I'm afraid he's gonna kick through! According to the literature, he's busy in there laying down some fat and practicing his sweet judo moves. He's also busy making little tooth buds. 

I hear pregnant ladies aren't supposed to lay on their back or their stomachs while they sleep because of circulation or discomfort... the past couple nights I've found myself half on my stomach, half on my side when I wake up in the morning. I wonder if this is because Kris is out of town this week. I should probably bust out the 'old body pillow so I can snuggle into that instead of smashing my face/ear/shoulder/belly into the firm bed and waking up sore every morning. 

A sweet surprise I found on the calendar.

It doesn't take much to make me swoon dangit.

I told him before he left that maybe we should take a before pic and then when he gets back he can see how much I've grown while he's away. There is something disturbing we discovered at work the other day. One of our Health Unit Coordinators put a wash basin up to me and was like, "All gone!" I couldn't believe it! Crazy, my belly fits in a wash basin! So weird!!! 

Now you see it...

Now you don't!

Looking at that second picture now makes me feel weird. I still don't feel like I look like myself. This whole experience has been such a physical and emotional experience. I don't identify with the second girl at all anymore. At least, not for now. But it is kinda neat that he fits right in there, freaky. As I had that basin up against my tummy he was moving around like crazy. I imagine he was thinking maybe "HEY! Who turned out the lights?!"

Another thing I did today was get a massage. It was AWESOME, and while I was lying there fading in and out of consciousness, I thought to myself, "why not make my own next milestone in this pregnancy? ... Why not celebrate the 30th week? ... Like... a Dirty 30 Week?"... I can see it now. Stained up wife-beaters abound! This pic that has been floating around the internet is what came to mind:

Needless to say, as soon as the Lavender Oil dissipated, I realized

it's probably not the greatest idea.

Now where is that O'Douls...

Sugar Free!

Here we are at week 27 and I am happy to report that I do not have gestational diabetes! Now that that test is out of the way it wasn't so bad, but it did make me feel bad when I had to do it. It's weird, but I looked at it as some sort of mile stone; a check point. I'm not sure there are anymore "check points" from here on out. We had another OB appointment this morning and per the doctor, appointments will become more frequent soon. She said starting at 30 week appointments will be every other week to monitor for things like pre eclampsia and other difficulties that can fly under the radar. That sort of made me excited, we're coming down to the last 3 months and soon we'll get to meet this little screaming, bundle 'o poop.

He's become more active. Like a LOT. I've been feeling him rolling around, getting comfortable, a few times I've felt his little, not-sure-which body part in my ribs. Nothing too painful, although I hear that will change, but that is a really cool feeling. He's woken me up in the morning with his rolling, and I've caught myself waking in the middle of the night with my hands on my belly, feeling for him. It's such a weird phenomenon to love someone SO much and be SO protective and not have met them yet.

Enough of the mush.

I bought him some headphones... well, ok. I bought myself some headphones in his name... (I have a feeling this will happen more than once)... and yes, I've subjected him to the Beastie Boys. He started moving around like crazy! I felt really stupid because I got really excited that he was moving a lot, and then I read that babies can easily startle... Was I scaring him? Sheesh. The volume was really low, but still...

ok ok. they're for me.

look at me. big dummy. scaring my baby half to death probably.

We're gonna focus on classical music from now on...

ps. why didn't someone advise against the stripes?!

So as time has gone on, I've noticed I've developed an absurd fear of stairs. It came on so subtly too... I'm going along, doing my thing and I'm not scared of heights, I consider myself a thrill seeker, and I come to a set of stairs and I'm like an elephant around a mouse. Terrified! I find I have to constantly look at the stairs, and sometimes when I'm going down them, I find myself a little confused for a moment like I'm about to misstep and fall. Weird! Where the heck did that come from? Is it due to the change in my center of gravity? I think I have like 8 steps to get into my house and I find myself having to even be careful on those. I sort of feel like the character on What About Bob... having to do "baby steps" and talk myself through getting down the stairs without falling. Has anyone else experienced that? 

Terrifying.

I've also noticed that I seem to be growing in a span of hours these days. I went to work one morning and I could zip my coat without difficulty. When I left the hospital to go home, I found myself having to struggle. Like the kid getting his snow suit on in A Christmas Story. You remember that kid don't you? Well you should because it's the best Christmas movie EVER! 

I can't put my arms down!

I'll have you know I can STILL zip my coat... technically. It takes some effort, some special breathing techniques are required, but hopefully this weather will change soon and I can put that jacket away anyway! Bring on the moo moo's and the flip flops! 

I sat down to skype with the husband last night and when I sat down, the belly decided to hit some buttons and change my screens on the computer. I couldn't help but laugh... 

Kris: "Those buttons are hangin' on for dear life." 

Whoa.

I'm not a big fan of bare belly photos for myself. My skin is pretty much translucent, it's more red around the bottom part of my belly because of the increased blood flow and again, I'm super pale. This is probably the closest I will get to posting a bare belly pic on the interwebs. I have to keep in mind someday Vanson might be able to dig this stuff up in an archive somewhere and I don't want to scare him. Apparently, I've done that enough with the headphones... (Sorry honey)

Glucose Tolerance

Well here we are at week 26 and I find myself spending this morning at the South Waterfront. Yep I am a slave to this lab for the next few hours...

Man am I hungry! Ok, I just had to get that out. No food until the test is done, minimal sips of water, and I had to drink a sizable amount of this hateful orange drink loaded with 75 GRAMS of glucose. 

This is halfway done. 

The lab tech kindly told me I needed to drink this horrible concoction within 5 minutes, no vomiting it up because we would have to do it all over again, no exercise (not a problem at the moment) and I could enjoy sips of water. For a girl who wakes up ravenous each morning, this is a real challenge. Oh, and did I forget to mention, I get to get stuck 3 times for blood draws today? Woo!

That drink tastes like suffering. 

So now I wait for the next draw at 9:07, then I get stuck again at 10:07... And you know, usually these things don't bother me. I've spent my fair share (and probably enough for your fair share) of time in a tattoo shop, I have a tattoo of a needle for crying out loud! Also my veins are like super highways under a clear layer of skin, but this guy had to "fish"?! OUCH!! Fucking OUCH dude! What is this? Your first day? Ever? In your life? Did you secretly murder the real lab tech and are posing in his position to carry out some other evil deed? Well if you did, I'm sure you did a bang up job there too buddy! Sheesh. 

Well I'm off to wander my work place and maybe ease my anxiety for the next blown out vein. :-( 

Well that wasn't too bad this time. Same tech, different vein and it went just like they usually go. Thankfully. My stomach is less upset and I have to think maybe its because I'm metabolizing that horrible drink. 

So its estimated that this week he has managed to grow himself to just under 2 pounds and somewhere like 14 inches long! No wonder I'm feeling his moves all over the place! It's really cool to feel him rolling over. It's a hard feeling to describe, it's like a wave, but from the inside pushing out. Not like a wave of nausea, more tactile, a rolling wave with noticeable pressure outward. The other morning I woke to him rolling around and I swear he got stuck for a moment, the wave abruptly stopped, then tried again, stopped, then tried again, I could feel him adjust himself and then try one more time and he completed his roll. That was probably the single most amazing moment I've had with him so far! 

Time for a pit stop! I'm SO close to being done! Yay!

Hello from the Portland Aeriel Tram

Home stretch now! Just waiting for the third and final draw! Then I get to eat!! Hooray! I can tell Vanson is pretty excited about the whole thing, kickin' like crazy! 

Well third and final poke went without incident! 

3 tiny little holes, no biggie. 

Now time to feed the beast! I met one of my BFF's Jackie for breakfast:

This is happening.

So now I get to wait to find out what the results are. If they don't post to my record online, I'll check it when I go to work. I'm really curious to know how my body handled that short, fat bottle of neon orange crap. 

How was everybody's Mother's Day? Hopefully everyone had a good day whether or not you celebrate it or whatever. I've heard plenty of mixed feelings, whether or not a pregnant lady is considered a mother. Kris' mom, Kathy, and his sister, Makenzie were so kind to give me Mother's Day cards and his mom had a onsie with Vanson's name put on it, it's SO tiny! 

13 weeks till we meet him... 

Cutest gift card EVER.

Whether you're pregnant, or your children are separate entities, whether they're human or not, whether they're your blood or not, I hope you ladies had a wonderful Mother's Day. 

Homeless? I prefer the term "Transient"

I don't want my baby to come out homeless.

Ok, so here we are at week 25 and maybe getting rejected for our little farm has been on my mind. If I work with you, you've more than likely heard me moaning and groaning that I feel like my baby is homeless. Some of you have been very sweet "home is where-ever mommy and daddy are" and so on. I get it, I know. I just felt like he didn't have a space. He didn't have a place to sleep. I felt very responsible for that. I let myself start feeling like a failure. I like to have a plan, always have a plan, so I found a great deal on a bassinet on Craigslist and spent about 4 hot dirty hours moving boxes and setting up a "Just in Case We're Still in This House" place for him... 

Maybe I jinxed us by insisting we pack a bunch of stuff months ago?

Ugh. Stuff.

poking my head out the window to peek on my girls in the yard 

abandoned desk area where I used to compute. Ahhhh how I love my laptop :)

Awesome sign some dear friends made for us. LOVE IT.

I guess we have furniture for him, this dresser will work, as will the end table and desk that go with it. 

Yay! 

I also LOVE the tree art, made by one of mah besties

Super sweet vintage books from Kathy (Kris' mom)

Is it weird that I sniff the pages? Mmmmmm old book smell!

Viola! Now he's not homeless! He's a transient!  

Oh man can I breathe a sigh of relief in the homeless category. We're still looking pretty hard at making a new home for our growing family, but damn that nesting feeling is CRAY! I wish you guys could've seen me cleaning that room! I was moving like it was 2am and I was methed out of my mind! Moving boxes, re-arranging stuff, muttering to myself, sweeping PILES of dirt on the floor, and of course it was hot so I had the windows open and the wind was blowing like crazy. By the time I was done my face looked like I was a chimney sweep...

I feel pretty

On a developmental note... did I tell you guys this fetus can now put his little hands over his ears if he hears a noise that's too loud?! SO weird! I wonder if he does that when I sing to him in the shower...  I can feel myself getting bigger by the day. It's getting increasingly harder to put my shoes on, and the urge to cry into my food still comes and goes. What I really want to know is: What do my organs look like now?! It's amazing to me that my organs know to re-organize themselves. Like a weird sort of biological Tetris... I love that game! 

Yeah, it's starting to feel like my organs are moving toward my throat...

Man that explains a lot.

I'm SO grateful my body is smarter than me. Does that make sense? It's a really trippy thing that my body is like, "oh, right, we need to re-organize to make room for this other WHOLE SEPARATE ENTITY, we'll just squeeze this, and shift that, oh, lungs, could you just shorten and fatten please? Thanks!" Who is the foreman here? Probably some hormone, huh? Those hormones win EVERY time! They're sneaky! If I was a paranoid schizophrenic, I would be at war with my hormones. I could see myself sitting at a bus stop, muttering about how I'm just a passenger in my body... that "they" are really running everything. Strangers would probably think I'm talking about the government or some conspiracy theory, but no, I'd be talking about hormones. ...because it's true... Because I'm not a paranoid schizophrenic, I'll just tuck those thoughts back up in there... 

Lets move on...

I can still fit mah clothes!

I use the term "fit" loosely...

Well, next week will be week 26, and alas, the dreaded Glucose Tolerance Test! I'll be blogging live from the South Waterfront during the whole 4 hour ordeal. C'mon. This test hasn't advanced to something more streamline? Sheesh. See you guys then!