Emotions are still tricky at times, I will admit. Last night my husband and I were watching a documentary on big cats in Africa and there I was sobbing like a little girl when they showed an older mommy lioness walking off to go die alone. The music was going and she was old and hurt from a fight and she held out long enough for her little cub to get accepted into the pride. Once the cub was accepted, she hobbled off, all by her lonesome and laid down. Her cub kept sniffing around for her and it was one of the saddest things I had ever seen! Tears were flowing in steady streams down my face and I was hoping my husband wouldn't see me. But, of course, he did. I felt like a child and he was so sweet, put a hand on my leg and gently said, "It's ok, she's an old girl, it's her time. Her cub will be fine." I thought that was very sweet, exactly what I needed too. I feel like at the beginning I was a ball of fire, and now I'm a big soggy pile of wet toilet paper.
But physically I'm fine! I can feel this little hooligan move around every day, although it's not strong enough for Kris to feel yet. I still get up at LEAST 3 times at night to pee. And the bloody noses, every time I blow my nose, I get this:
The trashcan in the bathroom looks like I'm perpetually on my period and throwing my soiled "feminine napkins" in the trash face-up and open wide for my guests to gaze upon.
You're welcome.
The clever app on my phone estimates my hooligan to be about the size of a dragon fruit this week. Have any of you ever seen a dragon fruit in person? I, myself, have not. So I did a google search, because telling me its that size means nothing, except paints a cool picture in my head of a fruit that is spiky and breathes fire and probably rides a motorcycle and listens to death metal... So I typed in my question "What is the size of a dragon fruit?" and what the all-knowing Google told me is it's roughly the size of my hand, or the size of an apple. Next I searched images and this is what I got:
That's some bad-ass fruit right there and that dude is excited.
Two weeks from today we will learn which reproductive system our hooligan is equipped with. I am pretty excited about this. Kris is pretty excited as well. I have it all planned out, of course, because my little white-knuckled hands need to iron-grip some control over something... We are going to our ultrasound appointment and will have the doc conceal the revealing ultrasound picture in an envelope. We will have dinner with his family that evening and open the envelope all together. I love surprises, well, good ones, anyway. So I'm really looking forward to this. Originally I didn't want to find out. I wanted to wait until the baby was born, but Kris really wanted to find out, and over time, I started to want to find out too. I've heard from other moms that they felt more of a bond after they could refer to it as he or she while it's still in the womb. Honestly, I'm pretty stoked to find out because if it's a girl I can just go nuts buying all the Hello Kitty stuff that secretly I want and say it's for the baby :)
Last, but not least, it seems this little hooligan has started to pop out a wee bit. Although there are times where I've seen people look at me, well, my belly, and look away, and look again, perplexed. Feeling as though they can't ask because that would be offensive. I still feel like a fat girl at the gym. I feel like people see me working out and they're like, "Good for her!" Meanwhile I'm on the elliptical sweating my ass off and the whole time thinking, "I'm hungry!!!"
Money Shot
With that said, off I got to the kitchen to grab a snack. Until next time...
Even if you end up with a boy...don't be afraid to have a few Hello Kitty items :)
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