The You you didn't know you had in you.

Can you guys believe this kid is 8 weeks old now?? Holy crap. He gets his shots next week, and I have to say, a lot of people dread that appointment, but I ain't scurd! I figure, he tolerated a strange man cutting on his wiener, so what's a few pokes in his chubbed up thighs? <--- I'm SO happy to be able to say he has chubby little thighs. Besides, how big could these needles be?...

Hold still now...

So, something has been on my mind a lot. I spoke about it to a friend recently and wanted to share it with you guys to see if anyone else has experienced this phenomenon. I'm not quite sure what to call it... maybe the... "Meeting the New You" Phenomenon? Let me explain...

So, you grow up, you think you know who you are and how you behave in certain situations, that is, until you get pregnant. Then you realize that hormones are really behind the wheel. (fucking hormones...) and as the pregnancy goes along, for some reason you convince yourself that the pre-baby you will get right back to normal as soon the little one thrashes its little way out of your vagina literally ripping you inside out. 

Not the case... and this time, hormones are not entirely to blame.

You see, there's a woman inside of every woman, waiting patiently, biding her time, to come out and take over once that little bundle of joy so sweetly emerges. I'm serious.

She's one part Martha Stewart:

I can do EVERYTHING no problem at all!

One part Nervous Nelly:

Why is this baby cross eyed?!

Does it have a neurological disorder?!

I'M SURE IT HAS A NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER...

One part Modern Martyr: 

AND I have to do laundry, get groceries, clean the house, pay bills...

NOBODY DOES AS MUCH AS I DO!!!

OH GOD WHY IS IT CRYING AGAIN?!?!?!

One part Momma Bear:

I'll always protect you my little love

One part Lioness:

I will provide for you, and teach you

One part Wolf Woman:

I pity the fool that comes between me and my baby

I've heard women say they don't know they "can do it". I would venture to guess this woman who has these facets of personality is already inside of you. You may have even seen bits and pieces of her show herself, although in other situations. She's there, and when the time comes, she will emerge, and show herself in full force and the old you:

Nothing like a little 4Loco in a Grey Goose bottle to make ya feel high class.

As I was saying... the old you, will stand aside and watch this new lady in amazement of how she goes about doing what she has to do. Learn the babies cries, function on little sleep, sling dirty diapers like they ain't no thang, dodge the squirts, keep lovin on the pets, keep lovin on Daddy, and convince yourself your vagina is most certainly NOT going to fall out every time you sit on the toilet. 

On a serious note though, it really is like an out of body experience. What a roller coaster it is to bring a little human into this world. And once you think the ride is over (merely because they made their grand entrance) you learn the ride is just click, click, clickin' gettin started, and holy shit, make sure you're strapped in tight, because it's gonna be one hell of a ride. 

I'm glad I love roller coasters. 

just breathe.

to Hawaii and back...fat.

Holy crap! My boy is already 7 weeks old! Where has the time gone? Seems like just yesterday he was rip roarin' right outta my va-j-j. -Although that's healing according to the doc... TMI? I've adopted a hand sign that mimics the exit of a car wash... so if you see me do a weird hand sign that involves both my hands over top of each other with wiggly fingers pointing up and down, well, that's it.

Remember this gem?

Enough "woe is me'ing". Lets get up to speed... it's been awhile...

So... we just recently got back from a trip to Hawaii. It was a lot of fun, we went with friends. Vanson was just 33 days old when we took off and a lot of folks told me I should cancel the trip, but the doc said Vanson was in the clear. Apparently it's advised babies don't fly until they're at least a month old because their immune systems are SO fragile. But 33 days old?! We're in the clear! To tell the truth though, I had a lot of anxiety leading up to the trip... "What if he cries the whole time, the flight is 5 1/2 hours!" "How are we going to get through security with all of his stuff?" "What if I forget to pack something for him?" "What if he gets sick while we're there?" ... You get the idea. 

Hmmm. I'm sure I forgot something...

One of my besties helped me out in a major way and put together little gifts for the surrounding people on our flights. Attached was a note that had Vanson introduce himself and explain he was only 33 days old and he wasn't sure how he would do flying. The gifts included candy and ear plugs. Everybody was really appreciative. (Got the idea from Pinterest) It opened up conversations among the surrounding passengers about their kids or grandkids, etc. It was really nice. Everyone said thank you and even came up to us after the fight to say thanks again. A couple people said now was the time to travel because kids this age are pretty "easy", meaning they are wherever you put them, and they sleep a lot. I told them when we travel with him when he's a little older we'll also include a mini bottle of liquor in our gift bags. That was a popular idea. 

So while we were in Hawaii I actually had a pretty good time. I made sure to buy a fan at Costco on our way to the house to keep Vanson cool and boy am I glad I did. It was pretty hot and humid and I think it allowed him to sleep. While we were there I made sure to get his little feet in the ocean and our friends had a good time (despite traveling with people who had a little baby in tow), so I'd chalk that trip up to a success. 

Hawaiian Baptism

<3

So now that we're back I'm realizing that work is on my horizon. I go back to work soon and that makes me sad and happy at the same time. There's a lot of ladies I work with that have recently had children or who are in process of bearing them. I preface my next statement with: I have the utmost respect for those women, and I love them very much, like sisters I'd say. So it's with that, that I say this: Those bitches drop their baby weight like it's no big thing. WTF is up with that?! Why is mine hanging on, white knuckled, clinging to areas on my body turning it horribly squishy. (sigh) Back fat. Whatever, it's only been 7 weeks. I think what I'm most bothered by is that I have nothing cute to wear. I'm over wearing my maternity crap. I wanna wear normal clothes again... and look cute! I don't wanna stuff myself back into my old pants (I can't anyway). Fall is my favorite time of year for clothes! So many options! I should stop complaining... this just means I get to shop! Hooray! ... Just in a different section.. 

Oh well. I have a pretty stinkin' cute baby boy to show for all this back fat.

See?