Change is hard.

Hooray! Week 30 is FINALLY upon us and I thought this would be a magical day of celebration; confetti falling from every ceiling I happened to be standing under... but no. Today is not that magical day that I thought for sure would bloom... instead, I find myself absolutely terrified of all the change that seems to be happening around me! I thought I was pretty good at dealing with change, after all, I am pretty flexible... just ask the husband.

We have reached an agreement with the seller of the house in Eagle Creek and like a well-oiled machine we have moved through the steps and scheduled our inspections to be completed this Thursday. Funny, how a regular sale can move so quickly, it was only last Thursday that we put an offer in on this house. Our previous offer drug on for 7 tedious, grueling months to be finally let down and guess what? Not one week after the termination of that one did we get it sent back out in our email offered at the exact same price! 

Fuck you short sale!!

So this new place has me a little worried. Only because its more change on top of change. I worry that my dogs will be like WTF guys?! We live in a new space AND you're introducing a n00b into our pack?! I have to admit, I'm a little sad to be leaving this place on Mallory Avenue. There are a lot of memories in this house. It has a lot of character, although, if these walls could talk I would probably have to be REALLY nice to them or bribe them because they would tell sordid tales. I think what I'm having the most trouble coping with is the fact that someone else will move into here and they won't love it like I have. They probably won't treat it well, and that makes me sad. I've always had this thing where I assign human feelings to inanimate objects... this condition has a name... Anthropomorphism. I've also diagnosed myself with an anxiety disorder too... because I'm pretty sure how I'm feeling is not normal. I got stressed out today to the point of tears about all of this change. My poor husband! As soon as he saw me whisk myself away to try and hide the tears he high-tailed it to the kitchen and was like "What's wrong?!" His eyes wide with concern. I couldn't help it, I started crying again like a little baby and was like "There's too much change!" 

What the hell am I moaning and groaning about?! I should be totally high on life with all that is blooming for my little family! Our little guy is busy growing like crazy and about to grace us with his presence in 10 short weeks (HOLY CRAP) and we found a place for our little family to be able to grow. So what the hell is my problem? Am I not as flexible as I thought I was? I guess I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed. 

Actually... I just figured it out! 

Green.eyes.mcgee = Fatty McGhee

I get it. Nobody wants to hurt a pregnant ladies feelings. But damn! I'm freaking HUGE! I read in my pregnant science-y book that he's going to start doubling weight these last two months too. Great! You may all start referring to me as Mz. MuffinTop. Do you know how hard it is to put on shoes already?! If you've ever listened to Adam Sandler's "Fatty McGhee" then you've heard what I sound like just trying to put on shoes and socks. 

If I was town in last weekend I would've participated in the Naked BikeRide, you know why? So I didn't have to suffer alone! That's right! I would've burned this image into as many eyes possible because misery loves company! Actually... I thought about doing it only because I feel like I'm wearing a pregnant suit. I don't feel like this is me. I'm sure I've said this before, I feel as though I'm merely a passenger riding shotgun in this mobile double-wide. 

There's no way I can even initiate intimacy at this point. I feel like if Kris saw me naked the image would be burned into his head, ruining any chance at recovering our sex life. I feel like it would give him nightmares, there I'd be lying next to him (getting up yet again to go pee for the 5th time during the night) and he'd be tossing and turning muttering about whale sightings and a fear of being smothered. 

All that aside though, it's still pretty cool to feel Vanson moving about in there. I'm still writing in his book and reading about his development week by week. Its crazy to know his little bone marrow is producing cells and his brain is growing and creating more folds. I remember seeing his brain on one of the early ultrasounds and being like... "Uh... why doesn't his brain fill up the cranial cavity?" 

Homer Simpson seems to be a recurring theme in my pregnancy.

Of course they reassured me he was still just growing, but that was the image I had in my head. That image paired with my previous cravings for sprinkle donuts and beer has me wondering a little bit...