Go ahead. Make my day.

Week 32 is upon us and I must say... it's almost like I feel like I have my ear to the train track and I can feel that big 'ol beast a'comin....

The tremor is really slight right now, but definitely there... 

So I hear now is the time to start making sure that you have a "Hospital Bag" ready... Holy shit, you mean, this thing is really going to happen?! So I started getting my bag ready:

This is just the beginning...

I guess I still need to pack "throw away clothes"... these are clothes they say you shouldn't care if you get blood and "fluids" on... yuck. Yep, I'm a nurse and I'm fine with people getting all leaky and nasty, I'll roll my sleeves up and get elbow deep in that hot mess! 

-I typed in "elbow deep" in google images search engine and needless to say... I'll not be posting what it gave me... 

So... back to ME... to think of packing clothes I can get "fluids" on... is a little weird... because... well, they'll be MY fluids... it's weird to think that I'll be the one having something happening. I'm used to being the one in control. The one holding someone's hand telling them, "Don't worry, seems gross to you, but I see this all the time, it's OK! Really! It is! I promise!" And yes, to be honest, sometimes I go home and I'm like, you won't believe what I saw at work today!!!!! -Not passing judgements, mind you. Just, sometimes I'm blown away by what people can tolerate/pass/what human bodies can do/what stuff smells like, etc...

And I can't help but think... I might be someone's "Work Story" that day... Man I hope I'm not. For once in my life I just want to be run-of-the-mill. Boring. Plain. Routine. 

I mean, obviously for my family it'll be fucking amazing. It'll be amazing for me too, regardless of the "fluids" and blood and whatever happens. If I end up butt naked with all fours on the floor, it'll be amazing. Because my son will be being born, I can honestly say, the sun will shine out of my vagina for those minutes it takes for him to come through. 

Is this what it'll look like for him from the inside?

Speaking of family... (which is pretty cool to write BTW... that my family will be there...) I'm getting pretty excited for this little shindig coming up:

I'm pretty grateful for Kris' mom Kathy

She goes out of her way to make me feel special.

Apparently, my husband also goes out of his way to make me feel special too.

Remember that bathroom we've been updating? Well, it's finally finished. I'm glad too. I've been showering and using our bathroom in the basement mostly, and it's nice, don't get me wrong, but it's all the way downstairs! 

Before.

After.

Lately I've had pregnancy brain pretty badly and I keep forgetting stuff. I got home from work the other night and went to take a shower. I opened up the front door so the girls could go outside and hang out and I went downstairs to take a shower. Silly me, I forgot a towel and came upstairs to get one. What do I find when I come upstairs, but a strange man standing in my living room! Just inside the door! 

Except I was dressed, still. 

Scared the hell out of me! He looks me up and down and says, "I was just wondering if you needed someone to mow your lawn." (Um, it's 8:30pm on a Sunday night, and IT'S RAINING outside) I said, "No, my husband takes care of that." He turned and walked out of my house, walked down the sidewalk and let himself out the front gate!!! A little unsettling needless to say! WHAT. THE. HELL. I immediately shut and locked the front door and it's been on my mind since. What would've happened if I would've actually remembered my towel and been IN the shower as this dirty "groundskeeper" wandered into my home?! The weird thing is, my dogs weren't going crazy. They were just chillin'. Which made me think later, have they smelled this person before? Is he one of the unsavories from across the street who does Meth in the neighbor's garage? Did he give them a treat? Did he mean harm? Was he going to rob us? Did the fact that I'm a woman deter him? Or was it because I'm pregnant? I've never felt unsafe in this house before until then. Maybe because I'm in super momma-bear mode or something, but now of course, I'm on high alert. Which part of me hates, because I've always defended the area I live in. Other people call it the ghetto, but lets face facts people, Portland doesn't really have a ghetto. 

So, sadly, I find myself looking out my kitchen window, looking for dirty hoodie guy over at the meth house. If I see him over there I'll go crazy. I'll keep my front door shut and locked unless I'm actually hanging out in my living room, and (sigh) the house hunt will continue. 

In the meantime though, Vanson will continue to grow and I'll keep my ear to the tracks because I'm getting more and more excited to meet him! I can tell he's growing because his movements are a little slower at times and a LOT more pronounced. The other day at work I felt his little FOOT! His heel was sticking out of the left side of my stomach!! It was INSANE feeling! And he had hiccups for the first time! Makin' momma so proud already! 

Well, I'm going to waddle my largest-I've-ever-been-in-my-life body to bed now... Looking forward to feeling him grow more this next week, and well, hopefully I'm not blogging from jail next time because I had to waste some stranger in my house...