The girls are there for moral support.
Kris found this little gem, BONUS!
We also had another OB visit and things seem to be moving along just fine. I've come to accept my right thumb and index finger just live in a numb state at the moment. I'm really hoping I regain full feeling after Vanson is born. My dexterity at work has failed... opening pills in front of patients, I feel like the most clumsy nurse ever.
If you want that oxy bad enough, you'll eat it off the floor.
Not to mention every time I stand up, I feel this insane urge to pee right away. I think he's head-butting my bladder. And I have this sneaking suspicion, he's armed with an ice cream scoop. Certainly feels like it. Feels like he's taking that ice cream scoop and scraping it along the opening of my uterus. Not sure how he got ahold of that damn thing but someone take it away from him because that shit HURTS!
OH GOD NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
So, because when I go to my OB appointments, it's not enough that I have to step on that scale and face the hard and fast truth that I've gained the equivalent of a pre-teen, we have to have conversations about potentially gooey stuff in my underwear (losing the mucous plug) and a gush or trickle of water falling out of my vagina... (Kris has checked the seat in his truck after I've gotten out of it for this puddle surprise)
Bone Dry.
However, I think the ultimate loss of dignity at this point is getting handed a Patient Education handout talking about Perineal Massage. What's that you ask?! I'm glad you inquired! It's supposed to be done to reduce the risk of ripping my vagina clear to my asshole. Which, don't get me wrong, I appreciate, but didn't we already talk about this in weeks past? Not to mention, I don't consider myself a genius by any means, but I think its safe to say my comprehension skills are pretty up to snuff. So... the need for a diagram just isn't THAT necessary...
Doubles as a coloring book!
Kids get your crayons!
Seriously though, who am I fooling? I am getting pretty damn excited to meet this little hellion that is wreaking havoc on my body. I'm getting more and more excited to see his little arms and legs flail free instead of meeting the resistance that is my belly. I dreamed that if I pulled the skin on my tummy taught I could see his little fingers. It was really freaky! Then I also dreamed that he was hungry in my belly, so I swallowed a bottle and then I could see him sucking on his little bottle under my skin... WTF? Weird!
It is pretty exciting to wait for him though... again, the doctor also offered to check to see if I've begun dilating and to strip my membranes... I said NO. I'd like him to show up on his own terms... not to mention I really do love this anticipation... It's sort of like waiting for Christmas when you're just a kid. You know how you feel on Christmas Eve night? Unless you come from one of those families that gave a gift on Christmas Eve.
Then you don't count, you spoiled brat.
The rest of us had to wait, and if you did have to wait and you're like me then your little ass was in bed by 8pm because you couldn't wait for the morning!!! That's how I feel now. I mean, I want him to be at least a week late, so we're more ready in the new house, but I also really do enjoy the anticipation for him too. What does that say about me? I think it makes perfect sense for myself... I LOVE surprises, but I also LOVE to be prepared.
I hope my little love stays put for another week at least. Then it'll be game on. For now though, Vanson, keep cozy, be well, and damnit, drop the ice cream scoop already.
xoxo
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