Just sit there and look pretty.

Well well well... week 38. Did you know 38 translates to "Water Retention" in Latin? It does. My engagement ring has relocated to a necklace, but I'm still able to get my wedding band on and off. Although lately with mine and my husband's temper tantrums maybe that should go on the necklace too...

I'M GETTING THE GROCERIES, PAYING THE BILLS, AND DOING THE LAUNDRY ALL AT ONCE! HELP ME OUT!!! BLLLAAAARRRGGHHH!!!

Meanwhile he's all:

IT SUCKS TO BE AROUND YOU WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS!! STOP BEING SO DEMANDING!! I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU OR BE AROUND YOU!! 

BBBBLLLLLAAAAAARRRGGHHHH!!!

Then I'm all:

You don't like me! You don't love me! I don't know if our marriage is going to last! 

Then he's all:

...

We can't be the only couple that has faced this... I'm pretty sure I wasn't like this before. I was doing some reading in my science-y pregnancy book and it was talking about how there is a surge of hormones yet again at the end of pregnancy. Great. Hormones. You bastards. I'm excited for them to even the hell out so I can be all:

Yeah right. I'll NEVER be like that... 

Anyway, as far as V goes... I'm talking about Vanson here, not my vagina... he's estimated to be around 7lbs now. That would explain the constant pressure I feel "down there". I'm tellin' ya, sometimes I sit down to pee and I actually feel sore. TMI? No, no, no... if you're reading this, you know by now there is no such thing as TMI with me. Makes me wonder though... am I dilating already? Or is he just starting to settle? I don't think he's dropped... my ginormous belly is in the same spot I'm pretty sure. Although I will say this... my belly button is NOT poking out... but it does resemble a small butt hole. I was getting ready to shower and caught a glimpse of it in the mirror... Usually when I turn I try to shield my eyes...

that is NOT me I see in the mirror!!

But alas, it's true. I had to tell the people I work with, of course, because it's a new discovery. And I didn't want to suffer alone. OK fine, not only did I tell them... I showed them... and now I'm showing you guys because now I don't want them to suffer alone...

*shudder*

See those tiny little hairs too? Insult to injury...

I have never been more thankful that the majority of my body hair is blonde. I've heard women say, sometimes ladies get a "happy trail"... What the hell?! That's not a "happy trail", it's a trail of tears lady!

On a lighter note, seems Vanson is seriously learning some kung-fu or something. He's starting to throw out knobs. Actual, little round knobs I can grab... The first time I saw it I was lying on the couch and Kris was home... I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was the most alien thing I've ever witnessed happening to myself... I tried to snap a pic, but this doesn't do it justice:

Needless to say it's painful when this happens.

All this bellyachin'! You'd think I'm miserable or something... I guess for the most part I will say it's physically uncomfortable but more than anything it's been emotional for me. I'm not one to take things that are so monumental lightly. I hear the first year of marriage is the hardest, throw in having a baby and buying a house AT THE SAME TIME and selling two houses and yeah, I'd say that's the perfect storm for the shit to hit the fan. The question is, can we weather the storm?