Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Stomach Acid tastes like Hurty.

Week 34 and all is well! :) He's estimated to be a little more than 18 inches long and around 5.3 lbs... explains a lot. The other night driving home from work I couldn't bend much more than sitting to drive, his little feet were pitter-pattering on my diaphragm and consequently that kicked a bunch of stomach acid up into my mouth.


Mmmm. Corrosive. 

On a more exciting note, my body is supposed to be getting ready for delivery! Could this be why I felt a weird contraction wrap all the way around my back today?! I've never felt anything like that before and I found myself stop everything and just experience it. My brain couldn't register it with any past experience before, I could feel my memory pathways creating a new file in my brain. Such a strange experience... felt like hands wrapping around my back and squeezing a wee bit... but from the inside, with a concurrent squeeze through the front of my tummy too. Does this sound familiar to you moms out there? Am I right in thinking this was a contraction, or did I just have a turd jack-knifed in there? 


I hate when this happens. So painful! 

I didn't have to poo, so I'm pretty sure this was a new type of contraction. That's pretty exciting! Made me get my booty in gear and REALLY get serious about packing a hospital bag. I told some peeps at work what I had packed so far... you know, toiletries, a couple stuffed animals, a onsie... they were like, "Um... stuffed animals?! Are you serious?" I realize now it sounds ridiculous, eh? In my newborn photo I had a teddy bear! So... I whittled the stuffed animals down... to just one... 


Who's looking more responsible? This lady!

Of course I should pack diapers! That thought hadn't even occurred to me. Sheesh! I am SO obviously new at this... another one of my work peeps had to help me collapse a freaking baby stroller. Uncharted territory I tell ya. I'm feeling much better about this hospital bag now. Diapers, baby wipes, a blanket, swaddle blankets, burp cloths, my toiletries and still the one stuffed animal remains. How could it not?! It's freaking adorable! I want him to have it in his little first photos. It's so soft and cute, ok, ok, maybe it's more for me. So what?! I think I need to pack a smaller onsie or outfit or whatever, just in case he's a little smaller, and throw in a dress to wear home and some throw-away underwear... maybe some socks... a camera... and I think we're good. I told Kris he might want to bring some stuff, extra change of clothes or whatever, but he's a man and needs no such things. :) I've probably over packed as it is. I'm sure we're both not going to be quite ourselves... 


"Kris! You did this to me!!!"

Some things I've noticed in this past week... I've become more tired, again. I get the girls to the doggy park everyday I'm off, and I find I need to sit down on those picnic tables periodically and rest. I've also noticed a mid-day power nap really benefits everyone around me... Our break room at work had a make over recently, and I'm really digging this:


There was another pregnant lady laying on the couch at the time, so I
rigged this set up. 

If I had the energy at the time, I would've asked someone to take our picture, laying like we were, but man was I exhausted and just needed to rest my eyes for a sec. 

Another thing I've noticed is I've become a catch-all. There are stains on my shirt I didn't even know were there because I can't see them, they're on the UNDERside! ...yeah... I have an under-side now. 


Usually works better if I ingest my protein drink, not wear it. 
(this was taken right before the whole thing got spilled on me anyway)
(-that was NOT my fault btw)

I went shopping today thinking maybe I could feel better about myself by finding a cute summer dress to wear to yet, another baby shower. Man did I fail. Thankfully that hormone Relaxin is kicking in, part of me thinks it's working just so I can maneuver all the fabric associated with maternity dresses! Trying on dresses made me feel like the fattest ninja ever to exist... then when I finally got one on the correct way the outcome was terrifying and I had swamp ass. 


That festive little bow is mocking me.

Notice how I'm accentuating my belly here? I had to, otherwise I just looked like a huge white canvas with a trapped, scared little head at the top. This dress looked so dang cute on the hanger too. I settled for a nursing top and the lady ringing me up tried to make me feel better. I don't think the sheer terror had let my face relax just yet... she could sense my dismay. "You really look great... really, I've seen some pregnant women come through here that don't look so great." This lady deals with female customers, she knows what to say, and she seemed genuine, and she was very nice, but nothing could erase that feeling I had of just wanting to wrap myself in a toga and call it good. 


Except with a toga. And maybe a fan...










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